Why do I want to be alone?

I feel very sorry for you. I think your bad upbringing has given you a negative image of what its like to be a family. It sounds like you're severely depressed :(, I think you should go to counselling, i really think it'd offer closure on your bad experiences. I'm so sorry about your ovaries, that must be completely devastating. Everyone deserves a family, especially you, don't let the past affect your future. I do think its a bad thing, you need love as does every human being. I feel it defiantly is your depression talking. You should definatley seek help, Good luck! xxx